Thursday, March 27, 2003 :::
 
my film is back from processing.. there is some raw material, and im dying to sink my teeth into it..

I was reading this James Baldwin short story "Sonny's Blues". It is absolutely beautiful - i must adapt into a screenplay.. ~suds

::: posted by Sudhanshu at 8:59 PM

Wednesday, March 26, 2003 :::
 
there are reams growing next to my bed.. the clock keeps going but with each word comes more strength, more beauty, some wierd, twisted kind of knowledge... its nice to explore meanings I took for granted, relationships I thought I understood... Im thankful for atleast two simple things in life: paper and my pen.

::: posted by Sudhanshu at 8:15 PM

Tuesday, March 25, 2003 :::
 
Come pinch my skin,
reach for my bones,
clutch my soul, my thoughts, my moments.

The loneliness that
crumbles and crunches me:
my life, my struggle,
my day, my dreams,
my wants, my lakes, my fish.

Somewhere deep lies a want
for tragedy and sympathy,
fame and fortune,
love, tears and smiles,
and a beautiful, memorable, life.


::: posted by Sudhanshu at 8:23 PM

 
watching the oscar was amazing... watching it with colleen was awesome... just like she said "its like the old times" ... yeah col, it was like the old times... i liked the old times.. the walk around ithaca, the center ithaca seating... eating indian food, planning snowball strategies, starting nonsensical snow fights.. we should hang out more often... and make some heartfelt BS. :)

::: posted by Sudhanshu at 10:29 AM

 
i wish someone knew how bad i want an oscar.. and i wish someone knew i know how frivolous, fake, and visceral that moment would be.. im sure there are a lot of unhappy, and more importantly people who feel worthless from among those that have won an oscar... but i want it all the same.. and i know it isnt worth it.. im just confused.. you know what it is? : the oscar would more be my way of convincing others around me I can do it, I CAN DO IT.. and i dont know what that proves... do i really care? should i be writing this here? i dont think theres a private side of my life... its all open for judgement and ridicule... enjoy the reality show people...

::: posted by Sudhanshu at 10:26 AM

Monday, March 24, 2003 :::
 
i got my first rejection letter today: Summer RA position and ya, it sucked... sometimes I wonder if I have any friends at all.. (those two are totally unrelated comments)

::: posted by Sudhanshu at 8:03 PM